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Christianity and Sex (Thread)

If you walk into a church and ask your local preacher if sex between two unwed people is a sin, he'll most likely tell you that it's a sin. All our lives, we're told that our sexual desires are evil and unpure, that we shouldn't act upon them until after marriage. My first response is to ask what would Jesus do? Well, I don't think loving your neighbor is quite the same things, and the gospel didn't talk that much about sex, except to remind us that sexual immorality is a sin.

However, sex is always followed by that word. Sexual immorality is a sin, not sex. When you think about it, that makes a lot of sense. Reproduction is sexual, so a line should be drawn as to what sex is wrong. I went to a Greek bible site to see if I could find the original term, other than immoral. Immoral relies on societal acceptance, something that changes with time.

πορνεία,n {por-ni'-ah}
1) illicit sexual intercourse 1a) adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, intercourse with animals etc. 1b) sexual intercourse with close relatives; Lev. 18 1c) sexual intercourse with a divorced man or woman; Mk. 10:11,12 2)

Now, there are quite a few things in here, but there is nothing about unmarried persons or consenting, different sex adults. The word does hold that homosexuality and lesbianism are in the same group as adultery and bestiality as a wrong or illicit, but that is another topic for another time.

So where could this idea that consensual sex is wrong come from? Well, these passages could have a lot to do with it.

1 Corinthians 7:2 (ESV)
2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

Galatians 5:19 (ESV)
19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality,

Colossians 3:5
5 Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.

There are many that can support these statements, and a few that can stand alone in this idea. I picked three that cover the common statements and passages. We have wives and husbands because we have hormones, and these are forces to help us make families and find love. To desire another woman is sin, as are many things of the flesh.

This is the popular opinion as of current day. Most reasonable Christians will come to this point, and accept it. Don't cheat, don't desire women sexually, etc. However, the truth of the matter is that there is nothing about sex before marriage. No consent or dissent, only what to do AFTER you marry, or what/who not to have sex with. There are a few passages about those who do not have proof of virginity and what have you, and I'm not sure how to incorporate that. Somebody could make a strong case that because a loss of virginity before marriage is wrong, sex prior is also wrong. I might post later after looking over it.

Frankly, I don't know where the idea came from. It could be the negative repercussions of early pregnancy or various social issues that led to this stigma. As always, the people want the church on their side for any given topic. If there is a passage that can be seen in two lights, the light from your own point of view will be seen.

As long as you keep in mind the cardinal principles of integrity, forgiveness, love, and obedience (divine source); premarital sex is not a sin. It's not loving to take advantage with a drunk girl at a party, or integral to lie at a bar to pick up chicks. However, if you have a partner and you both agree in sound mind and heart, have fun.

(By the way, always practice safe sex practices! If you're under 16, keep it in your pants. At least use a condom!)

This is coming from an Atheist, so please don't criticise me:
I think sex is alright unless someone does it safely and legally. Abuse in relations to sex is just...annoying and disgusting.

Anyway, yes I agree with you. But I think it really depends on the family. My family think that sex is ok...But sometimes we feel that it's better not to, especially under the age of 19-20.
I learnt that condom doesn't always work - so if you used condom and got pregnant, it's purely bad luck. D:
I know some parents who really don't give a damn, like alcohol is allowed for 16 year olds in and outside the house.

I think it has to do with the 10 commandments; "Do not commit adultry."

Adultry means having sex with someone who is not your wife/husband. Your girlfriend/boyfriend is not your wife/husband.

The problem with what you're saying is that you're defining adultery in the modern terms. Today, adultery means "cheating". Biblically, however, adultery means any kind of fornication separate from marriage.

Protip: Fornicating means sex. Especially unmarried sex.

Edit: Some verses.

Deuteronomy 22:13-21
“Suppose a man marries a woman, but after sleeping with her, he turns against her and publicly accuses her of shameful conduct, saying, ‘When I married this woman, I discovered she was not a virgin.’ Then the woman’s father and mother must bring the proof of her virginity to the elders as they hold court at the town gate. Her father must say to them, ‘I gave my daughter to this man to be his wife, and now he has turned against her. He has accused her of shameful conduct, saying, “I discovered that your daughter was not a virgin.” But here is the proof of my daughter’s virginity.’ Then they must spread her bed sheet before the elders. The elders must then take the man and punish him. They must also fine him 100 pieces of silver,[a] which he must pay to the woman’s father because he publicly accused a virgin of Israel of shameful conduct. The woman will then remain the man’s wife, and he may never divorce her.

“But suppose the man’s accusations are true, and he can show that she was not a virgin. The woman must be taken to the door of her father’s home, and there the men of the town must stone her to death, for she has committed a disgraceful crime in Israel by being promiscuous while living in her parents’ home. In this way, you will purge this evil from among you.

In this segment, it's clear that a woman not being a virgin before marriage was considered a terrible thing.

Proverbs 5:15
Drink water from your own well—
share your love only with your wife.
Why spill the water of your springs in the streets,
having sex with just anyone?
You should reserve it for yourselves.
Never share it with strangers.

This encourages male virginity.

Ephesians 5:31
As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”

Paul is repeating something that is spoken of in the Old Testament that alludes to the fact that the "two are united into one" only after marriage.

1 Corinthians 7:8-9
So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.

Pretty much, if you can't control yourself and must have sex, fornicating outside of marriage is not the answer. Get married, all you horny people.

Hmm... Well the Abrahamic root of it refers to sex outside of marriage, while in marriage. It's extramarital. Even the modern definition isn't far from that.

Even looking at the greek word, I can't find a translation that mentions both parties out of marriage. One person must be married for it to be adultery.

1) illicit sexual intercourse 1a) adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, intercourse with animals etc. 1b) sexual intercourse with close relatives; Lev. 18 1c) sexual intercourse with a divorced man or woman

Definition of FORNICATION

consensual sexual intercourse between two persons not married to each other — compare adultery

@NGH Dang, that was a good point lol

@zkzkan I believe this thread is about how Christianity got the idea that sex before marriage is wrong. Not what random people think about it.

@NGH Well damn. I'm surprised I missed that. A weird mix of surprised and ashamed.

It throws a wrench in the entire idea, might just go delete it all now. X_X

Edit: Yeah, I'm just stupid today. I'm going to delete this thread now. I'll give you about 10 minutes if you want to copy up the stuff you wrote. I am really sorry.

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