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Tell random, yet (obviously) funny stories!!! (Thread)

All ya have to do is post random yet obviously
funny stories there is a winner kevery week!!!!!

Prize: The Awesome feeling of actually winning something.

Story:

Mother: Oh you look so cute with your little sweater on....

Child: lol....

Mother: Oh I love you too!
(mother thought that lol meant lots of love)

                         NEXT DAY...MOTHER AND CHILD ON THEIR PHONES TEXTING.  

Mother texts: Grandma die lol (she ment lots of love but child thought she ment Laugh out loud)

-After that child posts this online and then....... well most people would know what happened next.

AT RECCES:

Me: (explaining what Pedobear is) They call it nap time, I call it fap time.
My friend: What's fap?
Me: The sound you make when you masturbate.
My friend: What's masturbate?
Me: It's...when you play with yourself.
My friend: Oh. Then I fap all the time.
EVERYONE BEGINS TO LAUGH EXCEPT HER
My friend: What? What's so funny?
My other friend: (laughing so hard she's crying) I-It's when you...It's when you play with yourself...for sexual pleasure.
AFTER THAT SHE LOOKED LIKE SHE'D BEEN MINDFUCKED.

@The_Original_Original well, and so she lost her mind's innocence~

random yet funny stories... nichijou anyone?

hrm sicne i lived in a boy's oarding school for nearly 8 years, i have plenty of them.. but i believe im a bad storyteller for random funny stories. im a good storyteller with monumental or dramatic stories, but somethign minimalistic as a radomfunnystory i think i lack talent for telllign it clear out like original did...

This ones random and sort of funny. I once kicked a guy in the nuts so hard, I ruptured his left testicle. That involintary wince just now, was intended.

I'll tell u a funny story by only telling u one word~ SAY THIS WORD OUT LOUD TO YOURSELF A FEW TIMES AND YOU'LL KNOW WHAT I MEAN: ALPHA-KENNY-BUDDY

@jenna38

ALPHA-KENNY-BUDDY
ALPHAKENNYBUDDY

i dun get it.

Yet, I feel as though I'll fuck anybody.

The other day. I went to the theater, and some old guy was vomiting into a trash can.

AHAHAHA

AN OLD GUY

@The_Original_Original that was pretty hilarious xD

@guardian3 xD epic story

A horse walks into a bar

Bartender asked, "Why the long face?"
Horse replies, "My wife died of cancer."

the end.

there were these three drunk dudes that hailed a cab. the driver saw that they were intoxicated so he simply turned the car on and then off and said "were here!" the first drunk stumbled out onto the sidewalk followed by the second who said thank you. the third one smacked the driver in the face. "what was that for?!" the driver said. "that" began the third drunk "is for driving to fast!"

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